12/14/07

whoa its been a minute since i've posted. i've actually have written just haven't posted. some things are better just written down and left in a safe place..you know what i mean?!
anyway so much has happened in what seems like such little time.

my niece my pride my joy is no longer living in complex. she's out w/ her crazy mom and my bro as usual has not learned his lesson. it amazes me how two grown people can be so selfish. don't they realize all the hurt they're causing this little girl. she has no security no stability. she misses us so much and i know her mom hates when she asks for us. so any time that i get the chance to see her i'm grateful because i dont know what to expect tomorrow.




Love.... simply amazes me everytime. how we can go to the point of no return just giving up and turning away from each other to just like old times. back to realizing that this is what we do and what we do best. friends is what you said we were and i dont see that being a problem. what better friend to have than your love. so we're pushing through starting from a special place. other opsiticals in our way now. trying to move past it and be there for each other. god only knows what's in stalled for us. but enough of planning just living it by fate. live in the present not the past and the future can wait. grabin fate by the throat and letting it lead the way.

lets go back in time lets go back there lets take it there lets go have that wreckless love that crazy love that off the wall won't stop till i get enough kinda of love lets go have that wreckless love that crazy love that i dont really care we can have it anywhere kinda of love ~ak

For a moment

I thought I lost everything. For a moment I thought I lost you and me.
Whoa!!! these past few days have been insane. Almost losing the one person I never thought I would. Dreams shattered my heartbroken. What a wake up call. Although a little torn remains in my heart I do not wish anyone to feel the pain I felt. Even for the hours that my heart was ripped out I could not Imagine going on with out it. So time will tell but its worth the try to make it work. I can still hear the words repeat over and over...."i love you but" i love you but" . Just when i came to terms with me having to accept what was decided i dropped all the expectation. I layed it all on the line and .....

Hate it when you try and talk to someone and you pour out your heart to them [ok maybe not completely] but you try to build something with them and they just don't respond. like staring at white wall waiting for it to turn another color w/out painting it.

domestic abuse

a fight that is not worth fighting? could it be. could it be so simple. to lay your hands on someone who breath life to the one good thing you've done. a mistake yes but a beautiful joy she is to all who come in contact with her. she love she gives she doesn't undertand but soon will. she's beautiful. no other word could better describe her. in and out beautiful. how could you be so selfish. both of you sitting there standing there fighting there. she has no clue who you are she will soon though. she will be fearful just like everyone else is. grow up