Emotional Roller Coaster

I've been on this emotional roller coaster. One minute I'm as happy as can be and the next with just a comment, look, or judgement and I'm upset. Not always upset like angry either...more like saddened by anything. The world, the news, those around me, those no longer around me. It feels like life is testing me. Like it wants to see how I can handle the ride. A ride with out training wheels. A ride with fog in your eyes- view. I'm trying to be patient. Patient. Patie....i just can't wait for this to pass. What a phase. It's all so blurry. My nameless hurt, my undefining anxiousness my selfishness to try and fix things. to make things better to control. I just have to let it be. Let it flow. Let it teach me what it's meant to teach me. The lesson i will look back and learn to appreciated. Understanding is not always easy to grasp. It's much harder than it looks than its said to be. Understanding on a deeper level is more than saying you understand. Its experiencing it before. experience with me through me. Admitting that you actually may not understand but standing by me anyway. Knowing that I can bring down your mood your exitement your good news and still wanting me to explain it. Its about being a friend when I think i have no one. about being there to just hear listen and stay silent. bout being able to focus on what i'm saying without passing judgement like you never shared my feelings my thoughts. what a feeling. a feeling of vulnerability of uncotrolling desires to make it all go away and never come back. never coming back to the the emotions the fear the hurt. but instead leaving it all behind! This to shall pass.