Lion falls in love with the Lamb.

I'm reading the twilight series (sooo good) I just started last week and I'm already up to book #3 (there are 4). I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as i do. it's such a great love story. Lion falls in love with a lamb. it just takes love to a another level. to be connected to someone so strongly. A soulmate. to feel soo deeply connected to their being. Being in love is awesome and this book makes me want to love even stronger and harder. aww okay that was my girly moment for the day.

Stressed

Okay so I just want to bitch so this is how i'm doing it. Sorry Blogger world.
Today is so STUPID at work. i hate working the way my boss makes me work. He leaves everything to the last minute. doesn't answer emails. then is too busy to talk. It's like WTF. I am juggling several things also all of which I am waiting on YOU so I can complete. Its soo annoying. grrrr.

its 6pm and i have a shoot Thurs & Friday i'm trying to prep for. I have NO schedule, NO equipment booked, NO food bc i need to know times we're eating. NO idea when to pick up equipment tomorrow bc i need equipment booked. ayiyi its like a ripple effect. I can't complete one thing until i know the other thing first.

ahhhhhhh...wish i could scream.

Enough Said....

Debt

In just 4 months I'll be clear of my huge debt I've been trying to pay off. (at least as far as credit cards -i'll have my student loans forever!!) It's going to feel so good to actually to be able to put money away that isn't for credit cards! It's funny bc I have saved up a good chunk of money for the past 6 months and the other day I had an epiphany "Why don't I just use all of my savings to bring my credit card balance down?" DUH. So that's what I'm doing and because of that I'll be done sooner than I expected.
Just wanted to share my exciting news.

Mommy's Day

Had a great weekend. Friday went to see Star Trek and Wolverine. Saturday went to shopping and hang with the Big A. Then out to lads bday celebration. Sunday was cool. Cooked mom dukes bkfst then off to grandmas. Enjoyed some good food, napped, and just hung out watching Murder she wrote..hahaha.

She's a pain in my behind but that's just what makes her who she is. She's a strong powerful woman that has affect on people even if it's a bad one. You can't forget her. Oh and i told you about her loving her bingo. I have the proof below!!!

What a mother's day it will be.

So this year my mom is going to be up in middletown for mom's day. She's going to church early in the morning then off to the 2nd church she attends. What the ..... I would go with her but that's a whole lotta of church. And besides I wouldn't be spending time with her per say. She'll be teaching and doing her thing. She's so weird sometimes - she doesn't care about things like Mother's day anymore. I mean i agree now that i think about it - we should be celebrating our moms EVERYDAY and not just one special day. I guess off to grandma's house it is. At least she'll be happy with some bingo cards! haha you have to see her face light up when she gets them. It's great!

Slacker or maybe not

So i use to feel soooo guilty when I would be at work and not have much to do. Like I would be paranoid and try and find things to work on. but recently i realized that it's cool to take it slow. When you're in this office during a production its always on a go go go. Never stop for air. But I'm learned i have to chill. So NOW when it's slow i just bullshit. file, take my time, answer emails, blog, twitter (lol).

I guess i'm saying that you don't always have to be on the go. Don't feel guilty if there is a day where you don't have anything to do - just be.

what a difference a day makes...................greys.

You never know the biggest day of your life is going to be the biggest.

the days you think are the big ones they are never as big as you make them out to be in your head.
It's the regular days the ones that start out normal
those are the days that end of being the biggest.
you never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day.
not until it's happening.
You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it.
The day you commit to something, or someone.
the day you get your heart broken
the day you meet your soul mate
the day you realize there's not enough time because you want to live forever.
Those are the biggest days.
The perfect days.

dream-maker or dreamer

I am way too hard on myself. I don't give myself enough credit. Even as I write this I'm thinking "don't get too cocky".But the more I think it's not even about getting "cocky". It's like I talk to people and tell them what I do but I always put it down. Like it dont make it seem like it's that big of a deal. Because to me its not. Sad but true. It's my job. For four years I've production manage on movies, shorts, pilots, music vidoes and even produced a few commercials. But it still seems so mi-nute to so many other people and what they're doing. I always "dream"about what more i can do. What bigger things I can work on.

Reason for thinking this, today an intern was looking on IMDB and he says "damn you've done a lot of stuff you're making your dreams come true!" and i was like yea okay. But then I actually went to my IMDB page and was like well i have done a lot of stuff that has at least made it to Imdb. (that's not even the half of things i've worked on) but i was quite impressed if i say so myself. And that was the first time i said that out loud. Usually it's all a blur by the end of a production. i dont even have time to look think how cool is this. It's funny bc while i'm in it i'm like ugh this is the worst..so retarded so much work so much time. But then when it's finally finish i kinda miss it.

**for those that don't know about Internet Movie Database (IMDB) it's like the resume for all productions. People just put a link to their IMDB page when submitting for jobs, etc. it also tells you about any and every movie you can think of. who'd in it, who worked on it, synopsis, rumors, etc. pretty cool!



So here's to dreaming about being a dream-maker!!

if you're curious you can check out my IMDB page @: click here

Twit World

So shay was right. Twitter is addicting. I can't stop reading what everyone and i mean everyone is doing....amazing. that's because I'm soo star nosey. My guilty pleasure is reading all those magazines (star, us) and websites (perez hilton, tmz). I can't help it. I know they're real people and I'm not even star crazed but I enjoy reading up on their lives. don't front you like it too!!


Long day at work. Watch the clock every hour and it was hell. Learned something today...We never have enough confidence in ourselves. it seems like we doubt our decisions, our opinions and even our actions. Why dont we just trust that we know. we know how, we know what's right, we just know! Why??

Monday

Stood home today. woke up feeling like crap. Got woken up by texts from everyone at my job. They were all excited to tell me that 50 cents was in the office. Weird because we aren't the type to get star struck. I mean we've had James Madio in our studio for 4 weeks now. (who is my set crush by the way..yummy) Just did a short film with Rick Gomez. Had Peter Green just show up on set one day. but when 50 walks in (the ghetto-ist of our clients the white boys are excited....hmmm)

Then spent some time on the phone with an old friend. and i mean oooold friend. I'm always amazed how certain people are put into the lives at the best time. as we reminisced good times, bad times,funny times it was so funny to talk about how i was when i was young. You know how we always "think" we know how we acted but not really until someone reminds us. I could not stop laughing. hahaha. love those moments in life. the ones when we are reminded about the littlest things and you feel good even if they make you seem stupid or silly. good times.

other than that it was a same old monday.....hoping tomorrow i feel better!

Friends

I had a great day today with my A4 girlies. it bought me back to when we were back at Marist. I'm so thankful to have them in my life. I wish I could spend more time with them both as a group and individually. But i know that through the distance i can always count on them when i need them.

I am

So I was on set the other day. Talking to the lead actress. She had a tattoo that said "i AM". So me being me asked "I am huh, what are you?" She started going into this whole thing, it was like a speech she had given a hundred times before i'm sure. "i AM is my being.... i am me, i am her, i am a woman, i am beautiful, it also means, i am not. I am not of my hair, i am not of this body....." as she continued talking it was a lot to take it. I mean i expected her to say something simple..I am me! or soemthing like that. so i thanked her for explaining and acted like i heard someone call me on the walkie talkie. who was this girl. she is so earthly, so hippie.


well the more i thought about it i realized something. I am. this statement is the shortest sentence. I am stands alone or can be matched up with other words. I am can stand for soemthing you are or you're not. I am was what God said he was when asked his name. I am is a powerful statement and yet it's the simpliest, shortest, and most comprehendable sentence.
Who'd a thought i would learn something from an actress.

So i'll say it loud i'll say it proud.......

I am.