Making moves! hope to be able to have a post and say all the things i've accomplished in one years time. Marking that calendar. i think i forgot that the journey we take in life is what we make of it. not what others see for us. lesson learned.
Listening to: AK's new album and the one song that stands out the most: "If I can touch the sky I'd risk the fall just to know how it feels to fly"
toodles...
Saturday, December 5
Tuesday, November 24
............
sometimes i really think that god test me on purpose. how can one person have so much going on & its rarely good. lately I try and give off positive energy. i reallly really do i swear. i'm doing this new mediating thing. where i "just be" for 10 minutes 3 times a day. do nothing. go somewhere quiet and concentrate on my breathing. it's really hard for me and i think that worries me more. I'm also saying a mantra, everyday i say "today will be a great day" over and over. bc i'm trying to keep positive energy around me. but damn really can i get a break. its always something after another.
found out my niece has swine flu. whats worse is that there's nothing we can do about it. we can't see her bc we run risk of infection. and we're not on the best of terms w/ her mom so lord knows how she's dealing with it bc both her kids have it. so please anyone reading. send out a prayer for my niece and her baby sis. no child deserves to be sick.
...today will be a great day...today will be a great day.....send your positive thoughts my way....lord knows i need it!!
found out my niece has swine flu. whats worse is that there's nothing we can do about it. we can't see her bc we run risk of infection. and we're not on the best of terms w/ her mom so lord knows how she's dealing with it bc both her kids have it. so please anyone reading. send out a prayer for my niece and her baby sis. no child deserves to be sick.
...today will be a great day...today will be a great day.....send your positive thoughts my way....lord knows i need it!!
Thursday, November 19
Empire State of Mind II
So when I first saw the title I rolled my eyes i'll admit.....c'mon I love alicia but damn the radio kills any song right?! But because of I love Alicia I had to take a listen. Its live so I'm sure on her album it will be different. Can't wait for her album.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Thursday, September 24
whatever happens, happens
woke up this morning from a rough night (week) and sgined on to facebook. this was the first status i saw. needed that.
Sometimes we just need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out exactly how we feel, stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel and sometimes just have to go with "whatever happens, happens..."
Wednesday, September 23
no words
sometimes it feels like things will never line up. can a person really be at peace w their life? without wanting to be more sucessful, more richer, more loved....
it seems that just when I feel some things are coming together BAM something else comes up. I really REALLY try to not complain but c'mon really?! I remind myself things could be so much worse. i could be jobless, homeless, loveless,and even lifeless.
but ::sigh:: damn can I get a break. can I once not have to live paycheck to paycheck, can I once go to work and cross off everything on my to do list, could I find some time to see my boyfriend, could I just see my friends more, could I just be one step close to the things I want in life.yes these things may seem trivial but these things are everyday parts of life. they are normal. being happy and satisfied ALL the time can't be normal. if it were then people wouldn't do a damn thing but walk around naked in a garden all day. (lol)
god if I could ask for anything it wouldnt be to be rich, it wouldn't be to be stronger, or fearless, it wouldn't even be to be skinny. I would just ask for patience...just patience. patience to deal w people when they test you, patience to not want the day to end so quickly, patience to be in the moments that make you happy satisfied loved.PATIENCE PLEASE!
it seems that just when I feel some things are coming together BAM something else comes up. I really REALLY try to not complain but c'mon really?! I remind myself things could be so much worse. i could be jobless, homeless, loveless,and even lifeless.
but ::sigh:: damn can I get a break. can I once not have to live paycheck to paycheck, can I once go to work and cross off everything on my to do list, could I find some time to see my boyfriend, could I just see my friends more, could I just be one step close to the things I want in life.yes these things may seem trivial but these things are everyday parts of life. they are normal. being happy and satisfied ALL the time can't be normal. if it were then people wouldn't do a damn thing but walk around naked in a garden all day. (lol)
god if I could ask for anything it wouldnt be to be rich, it wouldn't be to be stronger, or fearless, it wouldn't even be to be skinny. I would just ask for patience...just patience. patience to deal w people when they test you, patience to not want the day to end so quickly, patience to be in the moments that make you happy satisfied loved.PATIENCE PLEASE!
Friday, July 24
Cougaritis
It's official I'm a cougar...hahahah this boy is fly fly fly!!! yummy!!!!!!!!!!!
too bad he's only 17. Yowsa i could get arrested for that one!
too bad he's only 17. Yowsa i could get arrested for that one!
Friday, July 10
Alot on my mind
Have a lot on my mind. Need to blog them down.
So let's see it was my aunt's birthday July 4th - the one that recently past away. God I miss her pain in the ass. She was always asking questions but I would give anything to have to answer anther annoying question from her.
Adam's mom is going through some things health wise and family issues. There's just something to be said about karma. It's like people just do things out of selfishness without ever thinking about how this effects their kids. Now when you're faced w/ losing your child (not through dealth) it's all like why is this happening to me. I feel horrible because I want to comfort her but i have resentment to the situation. I blame her for everything. It's a horrible feeling to blame someone and hold anger towards them. I really wish i didn't. and for some time now i would push those feelings aside and just go about normal conversating and comforting but now i dont know if i can do it.
And today is the day my uncle is in surgery to remove the tumors he has. They are suppose to find out if the cancer has spread. I just pray that everything turns out okay. That God guides those doctors and nurses. and that they are able to remove that bastard of a cancer.
okay back to work it's getting busy!!
So let's see it was my aunt's birthday July 4th - the one that recently past away. God I miss her pain in the ass. She was always asking questions but I would give anything to have to answer anther annoying question from her.
Adam's mom is going through some things health wise and family issues. There's just something to be said about karma. It's like people just do things out of selfishness without ever thinking about how this effects their kids. Now when you're faced w/ losing your child (not through dealth) it's all like why is this happening to me. I feel horrible because I want to comfort her but i have resentment to the situation. I blame her for everything. It's a horrible feeling to blame someone and hold anger towards them. I really wish i didn't. and for some time now i would push those feelings aside and just go about normal conversating and comforting but now i dont know if i can do it.
And today is the day my uncle is in surgery to remove the tumors he has. They are suppose to find out if the cancer has spread. I just pray that everything turns out okay. That God guides those doctors and nurses. and that they are able to remove that bastard of a cancer.
okay back to work it's getting busy!!
Wednesday, June 24
Friday, June 19
Two Peas in a Pod
bored at work took a test and here were the results:
Q: Are you an your mate Soulmates?
TWO PEAS IN A POD: You're like two peas in a pod. Your love and relationship are strong and what you have is quite blissful. You compliment each other and more importantly learn from each other.
couldn't have said it better myself ;-)
Reminiscing
Sitting here talking w/ my boss about back in the days.
Ahhh...Those were the days.
- Remember recording your favorite songs off of the radio with a cassette. (stopping it during commercial breaks but sometimes not in time and you had to rewind and try to catch the song at the end)
- Watching movies on VHS like Rescuers, The Little Maid, Toy Story
- Watching shows when they premieres & not reruns yet.
- Watching TGIF on ch 7, shows like Different Stroke, Family Matters, Step by Step, Full House.
- Finally getting into walkmans and pulling out a whole book of cds on the train to change the song.
- Wearing nautica jackets and lugz boots
- Going to the library when you had to write a paper and actually getting books and using them as references.
- Memorizing all the code messages for when you beeped your friends. 07734 = Hello , 080808 = hugs & kisses, 50538=Besos
- Playing spin the bottle at parties and tap kissing your crush.
Ahhh...Those were the days.
Thursday, June 18
Wednesday, June 17
Babies and babies and babies
Gosh! It seems everywhere I turn someone's having a baby. this week alone I found out 4 people were having a baby. It's crazy!! I mean to think that everyone is growing up. I guess i just imagined everyone to grow old but still stay the same. ::sigh:: Well good luck to everyone out there taking that next leap in their life. Wishing you lots of joy...lots of love...and importantly
lots of patience.
lots of patience.
Tuesday, June 16
Update
Hi Ya'll update shupdate. Here we go:
Dad's cousin past away. He was really sick w/ diabetes and didn't have the bottom half of his body because of the disease. I definately know he's in a better place but still none the less I can't help but be sad. I remember all the summers I went to PR when i was younger to stay with my grandparents. Dujardin would sit on the porch w/ my grandfather and just tell me stories about them growing up and about the crazy people that live in town. It was those times I remember learning so much about my family tree and all the people that I would never get to meet. It was so fascinating as I think back. To have people able to tell me their story and story of others from before i was even thought of. He was a good man. Always smiling. I'm glad that he's not suffering anymore and that his wife can now be free of taking care of him 24-7. I know she's going to be sad but she'll have peace that he's better soon enough.
My uncle just found out that he has cancer in his thyroids. I'm telling you- cancer is a horrible disease that has taken so many people in my life. I damn Cancer!!! I feel horrible bc he's young and my cousins have to go through the fear of possibly have a very sick dad while they wait for surgery. I'm praying up a storm that they can get it all out. They find out next month if it has spread. To think the only reason he went ot the doctor for a check up was bc one day he was just sitting around laughing hard at a joke (he's always laughing) and he passed out. He joked that it was bc he laughed so hard but then he decided to go to the doctor. Sure enough he had a small seizure and then they ran all the kinds of test. In a matter of days it seemed that all this happened. I just hope that we can all get through it. as they say one day at a time. what makes it even worse is that he recently lost his job and has been on unemployment. My aunt was getting annoyed with him always following her around even when she went to the bathroom. So now she of course feels horrible for even complaining a little. I hope that she can forgive herself.
Adam's mom is real sick too. She also has diabetes and is on dialysis now. She's a mess. She's dealing with all the drama about losing his sisters and now she gets sick. She's a touch cookie but she's not the smartest. Making dumb decisions and not knowing her priorities in her life. Adam of course is not the best in dealing with things like this. No sight no mind kind of attitutude. So I have the job of not only comforting him but having to remind him how serious it all is. ayiyiyi...patience and strength that's all i ask for sometimes.
So today I'm just trying to appreciate all the small things in life and not get stressed out by the stupid things. Life brings you lots of surprise. Mostly good but some do hit you over the head and knock you down. I'm just trusting that God can get me through everything as he has done so many times before.
Request: Say a prayer tonight for me and my fam.
Dad's cousin past away. He was really sick w/ diabetes and didn't have the bottom half of his body because of the disease. I definately know he's in a better place but still none the less I can't help but be sad. I remember all the summers I went to PR when i was younger to stay with my grandparents. Dujardin would sit on the porch w/ my grandfather and just tell me stories about them growing up and about the crazy people that live in town. It was those times I remember learning so much about my family tree and all the people that I would never get to meet. It was so fascinating as I think back. To have people able to tell me their story and story of others from before i was even thought of. He was a good man. Always smiling. I'm glad that he's not suffering anymore and that his wife can now be free of taking care of him 24-7. I know she's going to be sad but she'll have peace that he's better soon enough.
My uncle just found out that he has cancer in his thyroids. I'm telling you- cancer is a horrible disease that has taken so many people in my life. I damn Cancer!!! I feel horrible bc he's young and my cousins have to go through the fear of possibly have a very sick dad while they wait for surgery. I'm praying up a storm that they can get it all out. They find out next month if it has spread. To think the only reason he went ot the doctor for a check up was bc one day he was just sitting around laughing hard at a joke (he's always laughing) and he passed out. He joked that it was bc he laughed so hard but then he decided to go to the doctor. Sure enough he had a small seizure and then they ran all the kinds of test. In a matter of days it seemed that all this happened. I just hope that we can all get through it. as they say one day at a time. what makes it even worse is that he recently lost his job and has been on unemployment. My aunt was getting annoyed with him always following her around even when she went to the bathroom. So now she of course feels horrible for even complaining a little. I hope that she can forgive herself.
Adam's mom is real sick too. She also has diabetes and is on dialysis now. She's a mess. She's dealing with all the drama about losing his sisters and now she gets sick. She's a touch cookie but she's not the smartest. Making dumb decisions and not knowing her priorities in her life. Adam of course is not the best in dealing with things like this. No sight no mind kind of attitutude. So I have the job of not only comforting him but having to remind him how serious it all is. ayiyiyi...patience and strength that's all i ask for sometimes.
So today I'm just trying to appreciate all the small things in life and not get stressed out by the stupid things. Life brings you lots of surprise. Mostly good but some do hit you over the head and knock you down. I'm just trusting that God can get me through everything as he has done so many times before.
Request: Say a prayer tonight for me and my fam.
Friday, June 12
Good Times
So the sun is finally shining. Muggy out but it's shining. It's been a long week. Long weekssss is should say. May was filled with a busy agenda every weekend something going on. June the same. And just like Mi Fantasia y my reality was talking about time flying by it was no surprise to feel the same way. It seems like just months ago we were graduating college and adventuring out to the bold world of adulthood. Now we have babies & weddings. It's crazy!!! sometimes i get so overwhelmed with everything I want to accomplish and have in my life (career, love, family everything) that it consumes me. and then there are days when i dont care. I just want to be. I just want to enjoy each day that comes. each moment i have to share w/ my grandmother, w/ my cousins, w/ all my fam, with my babe. ::sigh:: lifes just goes by too fast.
Thursday, June 11
Today's Events
So Today I'm going to continually add the events that are making my day quite amusing.
1) My Assistant sweeping while the intern sits and watch.
2) Bosses have a "banging on the wall" fight. Literally banging on the wall back and forth in 2 separate rooms for a good 5 minutes to see who "bangs" louder.
3) Intern keeps coming in and out of office to water the plants. Until we realize she was getting water from all the back office bathroom. FYI: we have a bathroom right in our office. She's been interning for 1 month.
4) Client walks in and says "I've heard so much about you, Frank always talks about you. Nice to finally mean you." Turns out she thought I was his wife. hahahaha
5) Sent the intern to get coffees we called in for the whole office. She comes back with a sandwhich..only. Classic intern moments @ HT.
6) We have the door open in our hallway and a dog runs in the office under my desk and jumps on my legs. Then runs out and we have no clue where he went or who he belongs too (aww)
7)End of day we're all in the back office chillen and listening to our fav 50 cent song and we're acting stupid (i mean everyone even our landlord who's like 60) and who just so happens to walk in 50 himself. hahaha. it was classic we all were cracking up. Well at least we weren't talking shit about him.
Good times at Good 'ol HT. Days like these make me forget about all the craziness and stress. Let's see what tomorrow' has installed...until next time...i'm out!
Fake ass people
Do you know I hate fake ass people.....i'm not talking about people that put up a front and act professional/polite for face. i'm talking about people that outright smile in your face and then talk shit about you. This isn't about what someone did to me. Just an observance of others around me. It's like how old are you? if you dont like someone then just don't chill with them or even speak w/ them. Come on seriously. And if you have to work w/ them don't go out hanging w/ them after work or on the weekends. That's just some fake ass shittyness. Oh well. I try and steer away from fakeness---watch out now it's out there.
ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, June 9
Checking in
Been a minute since I blogged. haven't been on the comp lately. I've just been living everyday as it comes. some days are good some not so good. There's a few things going on with fam that I can't even fathom. I can only pray that things will work out for the best. Work is work. So ready for a vaca. Until then I'm in at 9:30 out at 6:30- i slacked off there for a few months but i'm getting back on track. screw anything that gives me high blood pressure. oh and got the wii fit---says i'm 46 years old..wtf...haha. gotta work on that huh.
can't wait until i can say i'm happy in all my areas of life........is that even possible?!
can't wait until i can say i'm happy in all my areas of life........is that even possible?!
Tuesday, June 2
Week Ahead
Great time this weekend.Celebrated a special baby --Layla. then relaxed on Sunday. Busy week ahead. 50 shoot, edit deadlines craziness as usual. Can't wait until I can go on vacation!!! Wish it was to some tropical island...lol well i guess Tennessee will have to do. At least the place looks like this:
in the mountains...
So Tranquil..just what i need!
Breathtaking isn't it!
Look at this view!!
So wish me luck this week..all the time i'll be thinking of this place....lol.
in the mountains...
So Tranquil..just what i need!
Breathtaking isn't it!
Look at this view!!So wish me luck this week..all the time i'll be thinking of this place....lol.
Thursday, May 21
Lion falls in love with the Lamb.
I'm reading the twilight series (sooo good) I just started last week and I'm already up to book #3 (there are 4). I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as i do. it's such a great love story. Lion falls in love with a lamb. it just takes love to a another level. to be connected to someone so strongly. A soulmate. to feel soo deeply connected to their being. Being in love is awesome and this book makes me want to love even stronger and harder. aww okay that was my girly moment for the day.
Tuesday, May 19
Stressed
Okay so I just want to bitch so this is how i'm doing it. Sorry Blogger world.
Today is so STUPID at work. i hate working the way my boss makes me work. He leaves everything to the last minute. doesn't answer emails. then is too busy to talk. It's like WTF. I am juggling several things also all of which I am waiting on YOU so I can complete. Its soo annoying. grrrr.
its 6pm and i have a shoot Thurs & Friday i'm trying to prep for. I have NO schedule, NO equipment booked, NO food bc i need to know times we're eating. NO idea when to pick up equipment tomorrow bc i need equipment booked. ayiyi its like a ripple effect. I can't complete one thing until i know the other thing first.
ahhhhhhh...wish i could scream.
Today is so STUPID at work. i hate working the way my boss makes me work. He leaves everything to the last minute. doesn't answer emails. then is too busy to talk. It's like WTF. I am juggling several things also all of which I am waiting on YOU so I can complete. Its soo annoying. grrrr.
its 6pm and i have a shoot Thurs & Friday i'm trying to prep for. I have NO schedule, NO equipment booked, NO food bc i need to know times we're eating. NO idea when to pick up equipment tomorrow bc i need equipment booked. ayiyi its like a ripple effect. I can't complete one thing until i know the other thing first.
ahhhhhhh...wish i could scream.
Tuesday, May 12
Debt
In just 4 months I'll be clear of my huge debt I've been trying to pay off. (at least as far as credit cards -i'll have my student loans forever!!) It's going to feel so good to actually to be able to put money away that isn't for credit cards! It's funny bc I have saved up a good chunk of money for the past 6 months and the other day I had an epiphany "Why don't I just use all of my savings to bring my credit card balance down?" DUH. So that's what I'm doing and because of that I'll be done sooner than I expected.
Just wanted to share my exciting news.
Just wanted to share my exciting news.
Mommy's Day
Had a great weekend. Friday went to see Star Trek and Wolverine. Saturday went to shopping and hang with the Big A. Then out to lads bday celebration. Sunday was cool. Cooked mom dukes bkfst then off to grandmas. Enjoyed some good food, napped, and just hung out watching Murder she wrote..hahaha.
She's a pain in my behind but that's just what makes her who she is. She's a strong powerful woman that has affect on people even if it's a bad one. You can't forget her. Oh and i told you about her loving her bingo. I have the proof below!!!
She's a pain in my behind but that's just what makes her who she is. She's a strong powerful woman that has affect on people even if it's a bad one. You can't forget her. Oh and i told you about her loving her bingo. I have the proof below!!!
Friday, May 8
What a mother's day it will be.
So this year my mom is going to be up in middletown for mom's day. She's going to church early in the morning then off to the 2nd church she attends. What the ..... I would go with her but that's a whole lotta of church. And besides I wouldn't be spending time with her per say. She'll be teaching and doing her thing. She's so weird sometimes - she doesn't care about things like Mother's day anymore. I mean i agree now that i think about it - we should be celebrating our moms EVERYDAY and not just one special day. I guess off to grandma's house it is. At least she'll be happy with some bingo cards! haha you have to see her face light up when she gets them. It's great!
Slacker or maybe not
So i use to feel soooo guilty when I would be at work and not have much to do. Like I would be paranoid and try and find things to work on. but recently i realized that it's cool to take it slow. When you're in this office during a production its always on a go go go. Never stop for air. But I'm learned i have to chill. So NOW when it's slow i just bullshit. file, take my time, answer emails, blog, twitter (lol).
I guess i'm saying that you don't always have to be on the go. Don't feel guilty if there is a day where you don't have anything to do - just be.
I guess i'm saying that you don't always have to be on the go. Don't feel guilty if there is a day where you don't have anything to do - just be.
what a difference a day makes...................greys.
You never know the biggest day of your life is going to be the biggest.
the days you think are the big ones they are never as big as you make them out to be in your head.
It's the regular days the ones that start out normal
those are the days that end of being the biggest.
you never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day.
not until it's happening.
You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it.
The day you commit to something, or someone.
the day you get your heart broken
the day you meet your soul mate
the day you realize there's not enough time because you want to live forever.
Those are the biggest days.
The perfect days.
It's the regular days the ones that start out normal
those are the days that end of being the biggest.
you never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day.
not until it's happening.
You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it.
The day you commit to something, or someone.
the day you get your heart broken
the day you meet your soul mate
the day you realize there's not enough time because you want to live forever.
Those are the biggest days.
The perfect days.
Thursday, May 7
dream-maker or dreamer
I am way too hard on myself. I don't give myself enough credit. Even as I write this I'm thinking "don't get too cocky".But the more I think it's not even about getting "cocky". It's like I talk to people and tell them what I do but I always put it down. Like it dont make it seem like it's that big of a deal. Because to me its not. Sad but true. It's my job. For four years I've production manage on movies, shorts, pilots, music vidoes and even produced a few commercials. But it still seems so mi-nute to so many other people and what they're doing. I always "dream"about what more i can do. What bigger things I can work on.
Reason for thinking this, today an intern was looking on IMDB and he says "damn you've done a lot of stuff you're making your dreams come true!" and i was like yea okay. But then I actually went to my IMDB page and was like well i have done a lot of stuff that has at least made it to Imdb. (that's not even the half of things i've worked on) but i was quite impressed if i say so myself. And that was the first time i said that out loud. Usually it's all a blur by the end of a production. i dont even have time to look think how cool is this. It's funny bc while i'm in it i'm like ugh this is the worst..so retarded so much work so much time. But then when it's finally finish i kinda miss it.
**for those that don't know about Internet Movie Database (IMDB) it's like the resume for all productions. People just put a link to their IMDB page when submitting for jobs, etc. it also tells you about any and every movie you can think of. who'd in it, who worked on it, synopsis, rumors, etc. pretty cool!
So here's to dreaming about being a dream-maker!!
if you're curious you can check out my IMDB page @: click here
Reason for thinking this, today an intern was looking on IMDB and he says "damn you've done a lot of stuff you're making your dreams come true!" and i was like yea okay. But then I actually went to my IMDB page and was like well i have done a lot of stuff that has at least made it to Imdb. (that's not even the half of things i've worked on) but i was quite impressed if i say so myself. And that was the first time i said that out loud. Usually it's all a blur by the end of a production. i dont even have time to look think how cool is this. It's funny bc while i'm in it i'm like ugh this is the worst..so retarded so much work so much time. But then when it's finally finish i kinda miss it.
**for those that don't know about Internet Movie Database (IMDB) it's like the resume for all productions. People just put a link to their IMDB page when submitting for jobs, etc. it also tells you about any and every movie you can think of. who'd in it, who worked on it, synopsis, rumors, etc. pretty cool!
So here's to dreaming about being a dream-maker!!
if you're curious you can check out my IMDB page @: click here
Wednesday, May 6
Twit World
So shay was right. Twitter is addicting. I can't stop reading what everyone and i mean everyone is doing....amazing. that's because I'm soo star nosey. My guilty pleasure is reading all those magazines (star, us) and websites (perez hilton, tmz). I can't help it. I know they're real people and I'm not even star crazed but I enjoy reading up on their lives. don't front you like it too!!
Long day at work. Watch the clock every hour and it was hell. Learned something today...We never have enough confidence in ourselves. it seems like we doubt our decisions, our opinions and even our actions. Why dont we just trust that we know. we know how, we know what's right, we just know! Why??
Long day at work. Watch the clock every hour and it was hell. Learned something today...We never have enough confidence in ourselves. it seems like we doubt our decisions, our opinions and even our actions. Why dont we just trust that we know. we know how, we know what's right, we just know! Why??
Monday, May 4
Monday
Stood home today. woke up feeling like crap. Got woken up by texts from everyone at my job. They were all excited to tell me that 50 cents was in the office. Weird because we aren't the type to get star struck. I mean we've had James Madio in our studio for 4 weeks now. (who is my set crush by the way..yummy) Just did a short film with Rick Gomez. Had Peter Green just show up on set one day. but when 50 walks in (the ghetto-ist of our clients the white boys are excited....hmmm)
Then spent some time on the phone with an old friend. and i mean oooold friend. I'm always amazed how certain people are put into the lives at the best time. as we reminisced good times, bad times,funny times it was so funny to talk about how i was when i was young. You know how we always "think" we know how we acted but not really until someone reminds us. I could not stop laughing. hahaha. love those moments in life. the ones when we are reminded about the littlest things and you feel good even if they make you seem stupid or silly. good times.
other than that it was a same old monday.....hoping tomorrow i feel better!
Then spent some time on the phone with an old friend. and i mean oooold friend. I'm always amazed how certain people are put into the lives at the best time. as we reminisced good times, bad times,funny times it was so funny to talk about how i was when i was young. You know how we always "think" we know how we acted but not really until someone reminds us. I could not stop laughing. hahaha. love those moments in life. the ones when we are reminded about the littlest things and you feel good even if they make you seem stupid or silly. good times.
other than that it was a same old monday.....hoping tomorrow i feel better!
Sunday, May 3
Friends
I had a great day today with my A4 girlies. it bought me back to when we were back at Marist. I'm so thankful to have them in my life. I wish I could spend more time with them both as a group and individually. But i know that through the distance i can always count on them when i need them.
Saturday, May 2
I am
So I was on set the other day. Talking to the lead actress. She had a tattoo that said "i AM". So me being me asked "I am huh, what are you?" She started going into this whole thing, it was like a speech she had given a hundred times before i'm sure. "i AM is my being.... i am me, i am her, i am a woman, i am beautiful, it also means, i am not. I am not of my hair, i am not of this body....." as she continued talking it was a lot to take it. I mean i expected her to say something simple..I am me! or soemthing like that. so i thanked her for explaining and acted like i heard someone call me on the walkie talkie. who was this girl. she is so earthly, so hippie.
well the more i thought about it i realized something. I am. this statement is the shortest sentence. I am stands alone or can be matched up with other words. I am can stand for soemthing you are or you're not. I am was what God said he was when asked his name. I am is a powerful statement and yet it's the simpliest, shortest, and most comprehendable sentence.
Who'd a thought i would learn something from an actress.
So i'll say it loud i'll say it proud.......
I am.
well the more i thought about it i realized something. I am. this statement is the shortest sentence. I am stands alone or can be matched up with other words. I am can stand for soemthing you are or you're not. I am was what God said he was when asked his name. I am is a powerful statement and yet it's the simpliest, shortest, and most comprehendable sentence.
Who'd a thought i would learn something from an actress.
So i'll say it loud i'll say it proud.......
I am.
Saturday, April 18
Yours..Faithfully
Highway run Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight I'm sendin' all my love
Along the wire
They say that the road Ain't no place to start a family,
Right down the line It's been you and me,
And lovin' somebody like me Ain't always what it's supposed to be,
But you, you stand by me I'm forever yours...faithfully...
Oh circus life Under the big top world
We all need the clowns To make us smile,
Through space and time Always another show
Wondering where I am Lost without you,
And being apart ain't easy On this love affair,
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
and I'll get the joy Of rediscovering you,
And you, you stand by me I'm forever yours...faithfully...
~jt
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight I'm sendin' all my love
Along the wire
They say that the road Ain't no place to start a family,
Right down the line It's been you and me,
And lovin' somebody like me Ain't always what it's supposed to be,
But you, you stand by me I'm forever yours...faithfully...
Oh circus life Under the big top world
We all need the clowns To make us smile,
Through space and time Always another show
Wondering where I am Lost without you,
And being apart ain't easy On this love affair,
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
and I'll get the joy Of rediscovering you,
And you, you stand by me I'm forever yours...faithfully...
~jt
Tuesday, April 7
erased
okay so this morning i wrote this whole lengthly blog on my phone no less about feeling sorry for myself yada yada yada. But it got erased so its probably safe to assume that it wasn't meant to be posted and i shoud shut up and stop whining...hahahah..don't you love it how things just work itself out sometimes.
Wednesday, March 11
life
this months just started and its hitting hard. don't know if I'm ever going to see my niece again, my grandma may need to replace her knee at 85 yrs old, I get word that my other grandma is doing bad heath wise. I find out my cuz is pregnant I find out my cuz had a miscarriage, both my aunt and cousins husbands lost their job. a hard and personal memory comes in to mind at this time of year. and today I received horrible news today. my good friend from high school has stage 4 cancer. yes stage 4. I'm in total shock. its so sureal. how does a healthy 27 year old woman get cancer and in a matter of 6 months its stage 4. doctors are hopeful but I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through. she doesn't want to talk to anyone she doesn't even what anyone outside of our lil group to know. who can blame her. how do even begin to wrap ur head around it. of course I have the guiltiness of not being there as much as I should have. i feel like this now. and she's still alive. people tell me I'm so strong and always know wat to say but that seems so far from the truth at a time like this. how do I comfort her wout breaking down,? how do I reach out wout making her feel its pity. I'm so lost. I just think about everyone else I hold dear to me and how real this is. death that is. last year I had more deaths than I can remember. some close some distant to me. but none the less still apart of me.
RIP: titi, ashley, tano, fred, pastor victor,feggie, andre.
I'm just going to dig deep and find the courage to get through the rest of the month with as much positivity as I can! reminding myself of all the good things.
RIP: titi, ashley, tano, fred, pastor victor,feggie, andre.
I'm just going to dig deep and find the courage to get through the rest of the month with as much positivity as I can! reminding myself of all the good things.
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